5 Concert Blunders That Make Your Band Look like a Bunch of Amateurs
"It could be such a great band/song/performance! All they have to do is..." If anything like that ever occurs to you, either in the audience or in rehearsals with your own band, know that you're not alone. Sure, it's easy to criticise others, but it's really frustrating when everything else is running like clockwork, and yet you feel weird about the gig because there's one thing holding everything else back. Let's look at five examples of minor hiccups that may prevent otherwise great music from moving forward.
1. Off-beat rhythm section
You can have great arrangements, good musical ideas and a frontman full of charisma – but if the rhythm section is failing and the bass and drums only meet backstage, the audience and bandmates will always have the nagging feeling that something (or someone) is holding your music back... Despite the common preconceptions about drummer egos larger than the bass drum and bassists brooding deeper than the thick E string (both make their bandmates deaf), it's simply imperative that these two instruments feel each other and work together.
And no, it doesn't mean that bass and drums will slow down "as one man" once they find out that the overly fast tempo doesn't match their playing skills. Everyone should invent just as complex lines as they can play without muscle paralysis and without everyone around them waiting in terror for the whole thing to stop or fall apart. Meg White didn't worry too much about complicated paradiddles – and her minimalist drumming did the trick.
2. Unnecessarily complicated arrangements
Different story. The beat is good and no one is worried about the drums and bass – but there are concerns about whether there is still room for any music in the web of horizontally and vertically packed sounds. If you have a good musical idea, it doesn't mean that everyone has to play it all the time. It's stupid to keep choppy chords on both the guitar and keyboard or even in the brass section, with too much space in between. And it's criminal to play the bass line in both the keys and the bass at the same time!
Instead of an ugly "play-doh ball" of indistinct colour that makes everyone unhappy because they can't hear each other, find the best sound band for each instrument and don't step in each other's frequencies. Then, when composing, layer the instruments in such a way that each has a meaningful place and function in the piece. One instrument might play long surfaces and another may hold the beat - and each instrument can occasionally go silent. The best suspense happens in songs where the bass section pauses for a moment...
3. Cheap keys
If you love The Cure and base half of your musical aesthetic on synthetic strings and keys, skip this point. We're not talking about the wondrous sounds of Hammond, Wurlitzer or Fender pianos either. However, if you like the classical piano sound and intend to prelude with Chopinesque panache at a gig, it's worth investing in a quality stage piano, ideally with a hammer-action.
Even the best sound engineer can't get anything nice out of cheap keys with a hideously tinkling sound. It will sound harsh and unnatural, and it will bring your musical ideas down to the level of a carnival act.
4. Terrible singing
In today's age of freedom and post-post-post genres, music has been dethroned from the pedestal of high art, where rigorously guarded norms of "beauty" and "quality" are cultivated in institutions accessible only to a narrow slice of society. Punk and intuitive approaches to music have long since conquered the rigid walls of musical aesthetics, dismantling them into their primitive elements and reassembling them according to new, shifting formulas.
In other words, you can do whatever you want with your voice: whisper, scream, squeal out of tune or growl. It will still be music, and it might even be the new mainstream and a trend. There's just one catch – it's nice when it feels like an artistic intention, not a lack of skill. A person who doesn't hit the notes or the rhythm, but clearly attempts "beautiful" singing, can ruin an otherwise great song. It makes you wonder how beautiful it sounded when it was played just instrumentally...
5. Self-deprecating speeches
And to conclude today's rent, here's the thing that can hurt you the most, even though your music is good and everything else is "okay". Even if you're just opening for a more well-known band or are at the beginning of your musical journey, please (with a capital P) don't belittle yourself while talking between songs with lines like, "Don't worry, we're only going to play one more thing and then we'll get outta here," or "I shall not bore you here any longer, I'm sure you're all looking forward to the headliner."
It's astonishing how often bands say such things – and the audience is expected to applaud and shout, "Oh nooo, play!" But you're no sissies, and you know just as well as they do why you got up on that stage. So why would you play these games...
What else can ruin your musical experience? Let us know in the comments below the article on Facebook.
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