5 Places (Not) to Practise a Musical Instrument
Most musicians will probably say they prefer practising their musical instruments or singing in a private, quiet place. It makes sense – in a rehearsal room, your house, cottage or professionally soundproofed room you can make horrible musical sounds, make mistakes and make your practice sessions more enjoyable by playing "forbidden" tunes like "Stairway To Heaven" without being laughed at. But not everyone is so lucky to have such facilities. So we practise wherever we can and try to find something positive even in less comfortable places. Today, let's talk about the advantages... actually, the disadvantages of such unusual spots for practising music.
1. Bathroom
Woody Allen's To Rome with Love (2012) made the best of a gag showing a man who changed from an ordinary Italian dad into a virtuoso opera singer while taking a shower – but not a single note would have been extracted from him outside the bathroom. In the end, the opera audience didn't miss his singing – all that needed to be done was to place the shower on the stage as part of the production.
In real life, however, bathroom singing usually doesn't sound as nice. While you might be fooling yourself by singing into the shower head (pretending to be holding a microphone) and thinking how nice it sounds with the "tile reverb", in reality, you might be surprised how out of tune it is and that you strain your vocal cords unnecessarily because you're being fooled by the distorted acoustics.
The same applies to instruments. Yes, we know that Jimi Hendrix practised his guitar in the toilet (kudos to the habit of having the toilet in the bathroom). And we also know that, for example, during the final exams at the conservatory, one can do with any corner – you just practise anywhere and in any way, even in the toilets or with several other players in one room. But besides unwanted catching of all sorts of bacteria and the development of haemorrhoids from sitting in the toilet for long periods, in bathrooms, you risk fixing bad intonation and rhythm due to the merciful sound distortion.
2. Rehearsal and concert
Despite loving music and their instruments, some musicians hate practising. They prefer to wait until the very last moment and when in a tight corner, they make up for the necessary skills under stress at the band rehearsal ("Hold on a second everybody, I'm just going to play it here for myself...") or, heaven forbid, at the concert.
Not only does this annoy and waste the time of the other bandmates, but the stress of a possible mess up right on the stage spreads like a creeping disease onto the whole band exactly when you are supposed to be enjoying your moment of glory on the stage. If this is not an isolated failure, but rather a routine, such a colleague belongs in the "fired" box.
3. Transport and other publicly confined spaces
Other musical species, on the other hand, practise happily and dutifully. I know of one guitarist who took his acoustic guitar with him on a train trip over Europe and practised diligently in the compartment throughout the way – years ago he had a bad injury to his hand and, after a lengthy recovery, he resolved to practise for at least two hours a day. I get it – when you (almost) lose something, you only find out how precious it is.
But the constant strumming, tapping out the rhythm with imaginary or real drumsticks, or "unobtrusive" humming of the melody wherever there is no escape for the unwilling audience (for example, in a silent waiting room at the doctor's, in a crowded bus, or preferably in a band van) reaches the same level of annoyance as the fellow slacker from the previous paragraph.
4. Music shop
You know – under the pretext of trying out a "must have" guitar model, you sit down in the practice room in a large music shop and close the door. Cut. Two hours later. While several other people are kicking their heels outside the door, you're in the flow and desperately need to learn that breakneck run from your favourite song – or you can't go home. Yes, the ambition is commendable, the selfish taking up of space even less so.
5. Flat after 10:00 pm
After returning from work and pulling yourself together from the life routine, you've decided to air out the gear and around 9.55 pm you finally step on it. The floor rumbles to the thuds of your extremely loud apparatus, your foot taps out a rhythm and you really don't want to cut your evening short. My piano professor was once told by his teacher that if the neighbours are desperately banging on the ceiling with a broom, just keep playing – one day they will stop doing it. So unless you're one of those inconsiderate boors, a little empathy would do.
We all know that practising an instrument is not playing at a concert – the endless repetition of the same spot in different tempos, rhythms or musical expressions is annoying to listen to, especially when the person in question can't figure out where he or she is going wrong and plays it over and over again. Let's be considerate to our neighbours and spare them this suffering at least during the nighttime – maybe then they will come to our concert to see that their torture was not in vain and you can finally play it well.
What about you? Do you have a specific place where you practise your instrument? And which spot, on the other hand, did not work for you at all and why? Let us know in the comments!
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