Songs Written with a Machete #17: A Bloody Mouth and an Ink-Stained Finger

One day, I was bitten in the eye by a scorpion hiding in a towel. The fear of being poisoned overcame the fear of the local health service, so I went to the village doctor. Everything worked out fine, and since then I have had the vision of a hawk in my right eye. However, that was the first time I witnessed an unfortunate phenomenon in the land of magical realism. In the hallway, on the wooden bench of the village hospital, there was a neighbour sitting, a cane farmer. His white collar was covered in blood and his fingers in ink. He had undergone a procedure, paid for the treatment and, since he could not sign his name, had stamped the medical document with the index finger of his right hand.

Cowboys and farmers in Colombia follow what we can call customary law. For example, when a first-born son arrives into a farmer's family, he may as well forget about getting an education, for by fate he becomes a 'third parent', a co-parent of the siblings who follow. The daily labour and responsibilities of caring for the family from childhood onwards do not give him much chance of completing his primary education.

However, to make the world at least a little fair, another customary law is that the firstborn is entitled to a share of the parents' property after the age of eighteen. Thus, he can stand on his own feet without being burdened with investments. However, since he is illiterate, he must always rely on someone who can read and write. This is the topic of a song by Joaquin Bedoy.

El Analfabeta

My love sent me a letter and as I don't know how to read it,
to have it read, I called my friend Miguel.
As soon as he opened the letter, Miguel said straight away:
"Compadre, give me a double shot so I can read it."

"This is very hard, compadre, what I'm going to say.
You'd better ask for a bottle so that you can bear it.
This letter is very sad, compadrito, ask for more.
Well, what I'm going to tell you, I can't tell you sober".

"Tell me then, compadre, I'm anxious to know."
"If you want to know what it says, bring me more than just a drink."
"I want to know, compadre, what that paper says."
"Order me a chicken and cigarettes, too."

"Order all you want, but please read it."
"To tell you, compadre, I'm not going to be brave enough.
To be able to read, compadre, I'm going to ask for more liquor.
I'm crying my eyes out, compadre, bring me the whole demijohn."

"Order me the bottle, Joaco, so I can get in shape.
I'm going to ask for cigarettes too, okay?
And a little piece of chicken too,
I am going to need that."

My mate, already drunk from so much drinking,
looked at that letter again and right there he started to cry:
"How is it possible, compadre, that this could happen to you?
Ask for another bottle and lend me a hundred thousand pesos."

"Tell me then, compadre, I'm anxious to know."
"If you want to know what it says, bring me more than just a drink."
"I want to know, compadre, what that paper says."
"Order me a chicken and cigarettes, too."

"Order all you want, but please read it."
"To tell you, compadre, I'm not going to be brave enough
To be able to read, compadre, I'm going to ask for more liquor
I'm crying my eyes out, compadre, bring me the whole demijohn."

"Man, Joaquín, I'm looking at this letter and the handwriting is a bit blurry, man."
"But how's the spelling, is it all right?"
"Well, man, let's see, man, it's like, it's very blurry."
"Well, as long as you do me the favour of reading it to me, man."

"I'm going to tell you and be brave, my friend.
I know this is going to hurt you, you're going to cry with me.
This is very hard, compadre," Miguel said to me.
"We're both illiterate, I don't know how to read either."

One in six farmers in Colombia has an inked index finger. When I asked one of them how he felt about this hardship, he replied: "I couldn't be happier than I am. And do you know why, parsero? Because God and his miracles are for all without distinction."