TOP 5 Reasons to (not) Re-join a Band

1. The music is great

You know very well why you quit the band. The other guitarist was a narcissist and was pushing his stompboxes and solos everywhere. The bass player was perpetually out of tune, loaded and late everywhere. The drummer, not keeping the rhythm even when sober, was tolerated in the band just because he had a van and a rehearsal room. And the frontman terrorized everyone with his unpredictable mood swings. It was just too much to stand.

But for some mysterious reason, you love the music you played together and now miss it. You have a personal connection to the songs, many of which you created together, or are even your self-penned "babies". When the hot head of your amp cools down, you may be searching your heart if it was really necessary to tell your bandmates where to get off after your last messed up concert in one-horse town, pack up your case and leave to find the nearest civilization.

Before you pick up the phone and suggest to the others that you have a pint and reassess the situation, answer the following question: do you really think your shocking departure will magically change your bandmates? Let's face it – it won't. Your bandmates will piss you off just as much as they did before, and in two months, if not sooner, you'll be leaving in protest again. So think carefully if you're willing to change your own attitude. If not, you'd better separate the wheat from the chaff and make it clear which of your original songs your former cronies are allowed to continue playing and which are not – and seek your musical happiness elsewhere.

2. Nothing compares to a gig?

Let's look at a completely different model. You did not give a … about your bandmates when you were playing with the band in question, to put it bluntly, you didn't have much fun in the van. You played your part in the band and then you usually disappeared into the darkness at a rapid pace. But somehow it worked, the phone rang and the promoters and the audience were happy. Why did you emerge from the darkness one day and leave a vague message to your bandmates that you were quitting? You don't even know, but if you were to describe it to someone close to you over a beer, you'd probably say something like, "The money was good, but the human factor did not work at all..."

But you need to pay your bills and unless you're the lucky one who makes a living doing "something proper" with music being just a hobby for them, your budget is probably tight right now. Maybe, in this case, it's worth looking for an emotional outlet elsewhere, button it and return to "earning by playing" – or, and this is a better option, satisfy your socializing cravings with a second, maybe not-so-lucrative, but heartfelt musical project.

3. You hold all the aces

This is the argument for a comeback that your bandmates are likely to use if they want to get you back. "You have a house where we can rehearse in the basement." - "You have a big car, how would we drive without you?" Or "a great voice (guitar solos, piano technique, bass lines...), we'll never sound the same without you." That can flatter your ego. They've let you know that you're irreplaceable, and, without you, they're a speck of dust in the universe. Don't you have any desire to go back?

Watch it out. Either it's just empty flattery, where the ends justify the means, or it's true and you really are someone who's fun to be in a band with – in which case you actually have a great starting point to find another and perhaps a much better bunch of musicians.

4. The grass is not greener on the other side

But what if it's not so easy to find a great band? Okay, you left your previous one with the clear intention of starting somewhere else and better – and now you're sitting at home and it's suspiciously quiet around you. Facebook pages are full of strange ads full of grammar mistakes and lacking even a badly recorded music sample, and even among your contacts, meaningful musical projects are not just swarming. And the few times you've tried to send out a signal yourself, you've had to go through some pretty bizarre meetings and then struggled to wriggle out of proposals for further collaborations.

After slamming the door in relief a few times on potential bandmates you never want to meet again, you're kind of tearing your hair wondering why you didn't stay in the original group. Actually, it wasn't that bad – compared to the competition on offer... Consider whether you'll keep looking for a while longer and lower your ideals, or whether you'll humbly return to your old ways (at least for a while), knowing that a fretboard in your hand is better than an empty calendar on your desk.

5. The cards are on the table

And finally, the most important thing, although I will repeat myself: you know very well why you quit – and you have also told the others everything in the appropriate (or less appropriate, but perhaps all the more honest) manner. So now they know what was really bothering you all along. There's nothing to hide anymore, the anger bubble has burst. Whether and to what extent it was righteous depends on the specific situation.

What is certain is that if you were to return to the crime scene, it would be "after the explosion". And if we are optimistic at the end of the article (a bit despite point number 1), your bandmates will self-reflect and reassess the band's functioning so far. I hereby wish all the band restarts a successful and fruitful reunion. For better or worse, until a riff or anger parts you.

How about you, have you had the experience of "stepping into the same river"? What was it like? And did your temporary departure help improve the situation in the band? Let us know in the comments!