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10 Things You Will Never Hear a Drummer Say

Drummers. Such a specific breed of musicians. Although each of them has their own taste, style, and musical signature, there are a few ways in which they are all the same. Like what? Like the fact that you'll never hear them say the following. Ever. And if you do, they're not proper drummers.

What will you never hear your rhythmic colleagues say? Read on.

1. "Wait, I'll help you with that guitar cabinet"
He won't help. He's got his own suitcases, flightcases, and bags. And if you ask him, prepare to meet his dark side.

2. "I'll try to play it more quietly"
He won't try. Drummers have one way of banging the drums and it's just not possible to quiet them down.

3. "I should shorten my solo a bit, it gets boring after the twelfth minute"
Never suggest the possibility of incorporating his solo into your set! He will just get a kick out of it.

4. "Sorry, I kind of messed up that transition"
He'll never admit to that. And if you have that feeling and you tell him, he will guarantee you that he did not mess up! It's you who should have counted the beats. Surely it’s you who fell out of the rhythm.

5. "Tonight's gig is in a small club? Then I'll just bring the kick drum, hi-hat and snare"
He won't. He'll take two floor toms, three tom-toms, a set of cymbals and ideally hang it all on his 2.5m wide ramp. You guys will have to put your amplifiers under the stage, behind the stage, next to the stage, or maybe above the stage. But the drum kit shall not be reduced.

6. "Yesterday, while I was practicing, I thought of a great song"
He didn’t think of one. He didn’t practice.

7."Show me what you want that rhythm to sound like"
He'll never say that. The drum stool is a holy place and to sit on it is suicide. The honorary position behind the drums is simply off-limits to the rest of the band.

8. "Are you tuning your guitars? Well, then I won't disturb you"
Yeah, right. Believe me, he will. To the point that your tuners’ indicators will point around the bend. Even the digital ones.

9. "I'll buy a smaller kit, this one takes up too much room in the van"
Forget about it (see #5). He'll just buy a second kick drum.

10. "My son's gonna be a bass player"
He won't. He'll be a drummer! And with each sound of the toddler's rattle, the proud father will foretell a promising career for this future player.

On the other hand, it must be admitted that drummers don't have it easy. By the time singers and guitarists have long gone for beers after a gig, they are still setting up their drum set. And they definitely give the most physical performances. Without good drummers, there would be no good music.


On point? Let us know in the comments below!

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Deputy Editor-in-Chief of Copywriter at Bassist/Rapper Bands Five O'Clock Tea (5OT) and B.U.M Born to be LOUD FB: Jan Krčmář Instagram: jan_bass_rap