Second Hand Conversational Minimum for Guitarists
Before you ditch the convenience and civilisation of brick-and-mortar stores to follow the lowest price, there's one thing you should know about secondhand instrument stores. It's a wilderness. You will get the idea from the following phrase book.
1. A guitar from a guitar maker.
Unsellable homemade piece or at least an apprentice's work. The only person it's ever suited to is the seller.
2. Guitar from (a known) guitar maker.
Unsellable because of its price, and if that's not the case, you don't need to care.
3. Guitar directly from the guitar maker.
I understood the need to keep up with the times and dropped the "I'd ban all those internets!"
4. With a heavy heart.
I pull your heartstrings like I pull my guitar strings, and I'll happily rip you off.
5. Technobullshit.
Trust me, I'm an expert, don't try to fool me!
6. The guitar has been serviced, tuned and refretted, I've replaced strings, pickups and tuners.
I'm not negotiating the price and I'm serious.
7. Excellent for blues, jazz, hard rock, punk and metal.
That's the best I can say about it.
8. Guitar from the '80s and '90s.
I'm checking if my old piece of junk has become a cool vintage guitar.
9. Kerry King, Jim Root, Zakk Wylde's guitar.
I haven't reset my brain since high school.
10. Do you want a guitar with my signature?
I'm a prick who has an exaggerated opinion of himself and his talent.
11. Do you want a guitar that XY played?
I can't calculate a fair price and I don't want to learn.
12. I'm the first owner.
I'm a heartless asshole and I don't give discounts, take it or leave it.
13. Discount if you act fast.
Otherwise, I'll be kicked out of my flat.
14. I'll add a case, a gigbag..
See above.
15. I'm downsizing my instrument stock.
I can see a full backpack in the hallway by the door.
16. Top condition, just a few dents.
Those frets, pegs and bridge will grab your heart and give you a heart attack.
17. Nice no-name guitar, but it's got Seymour Duncans, Dimarzios...
Basically, a guitar for the price of a set of pickups.
18. I'll trade for an XY or another interesting piece. Make an offer!
I'd like to be considered a connoisseur. I don't know what I want, but I'll know it when I see it. Impress me!
19. Don't offer anything in exchange.
I'm a bigger as*hole than you!
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