11 Questions You Shouldn’t Ask a Bass Player
There are questions that make a bassist want to hit the interviewer over the head with his instrument. If they ever occur to you, reconsider three times and ideally phrase them politely. Or just skip them and don't ask. Otherwise, you'll awaken their inner demon, which until this moment was bound by the thickest of strings.
1. Do you play the four-string because it's easier than the five-string?
For once and for all: there is no correlation between number of strings and difficulty. Unless you have some weirdo instrument like a 9-string bass, for example. Which only weirdos do.
2. Do you play bass because it’s easier than guitar?
I play bass, because I play bass. Period.
3. Is that Ampeg heavy to move?
Guess. It’s only 63 kilos. Now stop asking questions and give me a hand, will you?
4. Great song... What are you playing in it?
[The best time to ask this question is after you've just listened to the song over your phone speakers.]
5. If you were ill, the band could play without you and it wouldn't hurt, right?
Just like you wouldn't get hurt if you were to stop asking those stupid questions...
6. Why don’t you sound like Fieldy from Korn?
Because I’m not Fieldy from Korn.
7. Why don’t you sound like Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers?
Because I’m not Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers.
8. You’re a bass player? Then you can probably also play double bass.
You have a driver’s license? Then you can probably also fly a plane.
9. Do you play the guitar as well? I mean, you can bust out a few chords at least, right?
I can. Boggles the mind, right?
10. Don’t your fingers hurt?
You should have seen the blisters I’ve had on them…
11. Wait, your bass has a battery in it? So it basically plays by itself then?
I’m going for a beer. See ya…
Are you a bass player? What questions awaken your inner demon? Share it with us in the comments below.
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